After two years of living here, I decided to take a shot at riding the buses. Bus schedules confuse the heck out of me, but I use "Hopstop"--a subway and bus app--which gives step-by-step directions for NYC public transportation.
My first step was to catch a bus at Queens Plaza in Long Island City. I found the bus stop just fine, but after waiting 23 minutes, no bus ever crossed my path. According to Hopstop, there should have been two busses in that time frame. So, I took the subway into Manhattan.
By the way, the signs at the bus stops say this: NO STANDING. What? Excuse me, I'm waiting for a bus. . . what am I supposed to do, a yoga pose?
Turns out NO STANDING refers to vehicles, not people. (I found this out when I came home and looked it up.) Unoccupied, as well as occupied, vehicles--not people--will be ticketed if they "stand" in that zone. Seems like they could have come up with a little better phrasing.
In Manhattan, it was easier to fine the bus stop because several people were actually STANDING near the NO STANDING sign. I got my pre-paid card out but noticed people weren't swiping them to board. So I asked the person in front of me me if this bus was free. He retorted, "Hardly!" So, I asked the driver how to pay, and he started giving me instructions so fast, I had no idea what he he meant. I said, "I'm sorry?" (I think that's a Midwestern phrase only that means "huh?") Then he said, "You didn't listen to a single thing I said, did you? You have to get a paper pass to get on. Use your card over there," and he pointed to a little machine on the sidewalk. As I stepped off the bus passing others trying to get on, he shouted, "You gotta press the start button to begin!"
I got my paper pass and boarded that same bus, and minutes into the ride, the driver starts ranting loudly so that everyone could hear how "Nobody reads! Nobody listens! People don't pay attention!" and on and on. Well, that made everybody in the bus look at each other with their eyebrows raised. Then they started yelling back, "That's right! You tell 'em! Let it all out!"
A woman next to me said that there are periodic searches by the NY police for people trying to ride the bus without a paper pass. She said the fine was about $100.
Just then the driver gets on the loud speaker and announces, "Ladies and gentlemen! We have the distinct honor at the next stop of being searched for people without paper passes." So the next stop we were indeed boarded by two cops asking to see our paper passes. They kicked two people off the bus.
There's more to this story, so ask me next time you see me. Anyway, I was glad to get home and have my favorite evening drink, Coors Light in a wine glass.
